I knew it

Fuck off, I knew that I shouldn't have eaten that bowl of cereal. I felt guilty, so I continue eating and I ate at supper, for the first time this week, and I ate like a freaking pig. I'm now feeling as fat as hell and also as much guilty. I can't believe that I'm so weak...No control at all, not even able to do one week without a binge. I wanna try to throw up again, but I promise too many people that I wouldn't do it again...a I just want to say fuck them and take all these things out of my body. My stomach hurts so much...

Tomorrow, I'm gonna be like 200lbs on the scale. FUCK. I hate this. I hate my lack of control. I hate my stupid heart that at first forced me to eat.